The Blackberry Revolution. And why I dont want to be a part of it.

Dear RIM (Research in Motion),

We thank thee for the BlackBerry.

We thank thee for the ‘free’ messages .

For the “laugh out louds” and free internet.

For the QWERTY.

And wide-screen.

And the misplaced sense of sophistication in our heads.

Amen.

Now that everybody has a Blackberry, let’s turn our noses up at people who don’t.

Let’s dance merrily with all the Blackberry boys/minions.

And BBM each other.  And splash/flood/spam Facebook with our BB pin.

The ‘obsession’ is so bad, that I’m finding it difficult to contain my sarcasm within 300 words.

Blackberry is a PDA. Purported Display of Affluence.

This “mania” has gotten so bad, that people have resorted to buying look-alikes from other brands and China.

100 million sales. I don’t think even Himesh Reshamiyya has sold that many CD’s.

Let’s make it desi. Let’s not call it “Blackberry” with that sophisticated drawl we Indians have cultivated when we refer to something that’s “firaangi”.

Let’s call it Kaalaberry.

Kaalaberry, according to my darling- last –minute- project- saver Wikipedia, is addictive and is also called CrackBaby. Eew!

It’s worse than Justin Bieber’s fans calling themselves “Bielebers”.

In the train, in the cinema, in the college, on the road, – KaalaBerry.

In the loo.  Yes, even in the loo.

I have seen, with great detail, how the XX chromosome wraps its painted/manicured/not manicured nails around this phone.

The XY chromosome on the other hand, leaves it in the hands of others, to show off.

I’ve seen how it’s held, lovingly, with reverence.

How when on call, owners consciously ensure people around them see the seven D’s arranged in the form of a ‘B’.

You know what ‘berry thumb’ is?

Or ‘berry blister’?

Don’t bother.

No really don’t.

Ok, I’ll tell you.

Quote Wikipedia: “It is soreness that occurs while handling the keyboard.”

No joke.

PS: Blackberrys don’t have FM Radio. Which self-respecting Indian would buy a phone without radio? (Apparently many)

5 thoughts on “The Blackberry Revolution. And why I dont want to be a part of it.

  1. This is not a hate comment.

    I have a BlackBerry hand phone and all I wonder is, would you have written the same way about Nokia phones or would you speak the same way about people who use cellphones at all.
    Lets look at all technology that has become common. Android? Notebooks and netbooks? Cars? Air-conditioners? Heck even lightbulbs. “Lets go desi and use a diya”

    Tell me about one person who does not take out his/her cellphone when in the loo or in a class or doing SOMETHING besides sitting on a chair and staring at a wall. So why not send a BBM message? I talk to my cousins in the USA or France or even Norway in realtime and for no additional cost. Now you cant carry your laptop to the potty each time, can you?

    Or perhaps you can write about how Microsoft Windows has made our lives miserable by selling products at such a high cost and promoting piracy, whereas Linux (I use Ubuntu – Ubuntu is created by open-source developers because they believe that everybody should have access to the best possible technologies. You can even read up – http://www.opensource.org/docs/definition.php) is free and much more user friendly and accessible.

    I believe people who use BlackBerry Smartphones (instead of Nokia or HTC or Apple or Microsoft smartphones) are just misunderstood.

    All I am saying is, rethink.

    I liked your article.

    Like

    1. I LOVED YOUR COMMENT!!!
      I havent mentioned anywhere about dislike for technology. I HAVE mentioned/implied via the post a dislike for buying a Blackberry for just the BBM and a dislike for people who succumb to peer pressure (ground reality) and buy a BlackBerry. I take my cellphone in the loo too. What I implied, was that we’re basically surrounded by Blackberrys. Before I write a long comment justifying everything I’ve written in the post, I’d suggest you read the post again, thoroughly. Thank you for reading! 😀
      Opinions are welcome, always.

      Like

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