Dear RIM (Research in Motion),
We thank thee for the BlackBerry.
We thank thee for the ‘free’ messages .
For the “laugh out louds” and free internet.
For the QWERTY.
And the misplaced sense of sophistication in our heads.
Now that everybody has a Blackberry, let’s turn our noses up at people who don’t.
Let’s dance merrily with all the Blackberry boys/minions.
And BBM each other. And splash/flood/spam Facebook with our BB pin.
The ‘obsession’ is so bad, that I’m finding it difficult to contain my sarcasm within 300 words.
Blackberry is a PDA. Purported Display of Affluence.
This “mania” has gotten so bad, that people have resorted to buying look-alikes from other brands and China.
100 million sales. I don’t think even Himesh Reshamiyya has sold that many CD’s.
Let’s make it desi. Let’s not call it “Blackberry” with that sophisticated drawl we Indians have cultivated when we refer to something that’s “firaangi”.
Let’s call it Kaalaberry.
Kaalaberry, according to my darling- last –minute- project- saver Wikipedia, is addictive and is also called CrackBaby. Eew!
It’s worse than Justin Bieber’s fans calling themselves “Bielebers”.
In the train, in the cinema, in the college, on the road, – KaalaBerry.
In the loo. Yes, even in the loo.
I have seen, with great detail, how the XX chromosome wraps its painted/manicured/not manicured nails around this phone.
The XY chromosome on the other hand, leaves it in the hands of others, to show off.
I’ve seen how it’s held, lovingly, with reverence.
How when on call, owners consciously ensure people around them see the seven D’s arranged in the form of a ‘B’.
You know what ‘berry thumb’ is?
Or ‘berry blister’?
No really don’t.
Ok, I’ll tell you.
Quote Wikipedia: “It is soreness that occurs while handling the keyboard.”
PS: Blackberrys don’t have FM Radio. Which self-respecting Indian would buy a phone without radio? (Apparently many)